reading

Reading hiatus.. once again

It is a strange state to be in. Wanting to read but not being able to…

All the books seemed so distant. I couldn’t reach them. There was something like a thick fog between us. Everything was there but could not be observed. I tried Ibsen, and Byatt, Spinoza too, and Mitford, Lawrence Durrell, Patricia Meyer Spacks… There was a moment when I almost made a connection with Olafsson’s The Journey Home. The mood of the first paragraph was so beautifully inviting, (somehow) matching the weather outside – the sky was decidedly gray and I knew nobody would call me out. I was absolutely free to stay in the comfort of my home. Yet something was not right, something I am not able to define.. I was like a child learning to read – recognizing the letters but not making out the meaning of the sentences: I read mechanically without entering the world that words formed… Eventually I had to accept it – my mind was tired and there was no use in forcing it. No matter how hard I wished to get back to my normal state of being I had to stop trying. I had to let my mind recover naturally, on its own, in its own pace.

I have been in this peculiar state for days. For more than a week, in fact.

I missed reading. I missed going to bed with a book. I missed carrying it in my bag. I missed the joy of a well written story. Most of all I missed living the story. I longed for my parallel dimensions… But, I waited.

This morning I went into the American Corner Library just to return the book. Or so I thought. I couldn’t restrain myself from browsing the shelves thinking ‘if I can’t read I can at least look’. And so I saw a watercolor painted cover of Willa Cather’s Death Comes for The Archbishop. And it ended the tormenting hiatus.

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7 thoughts on “Reading hiatus.. once again

  1. I just kicked mine as well, weeks of just not bothering and now I have read thee PDF files that are up for review soon…I am excited to handle a real book again though, I must confess…it has been a long time coming and anything could land in my hands. The excitement!

    1. It is good to be back on the track, isn’t it! (The game is afoot!)
      I do wonder which one will choose to land in your hands. So far I am quite satisfied with the one that chose me.

  2. I could read Holmes again but I’m not sure…I have 100 pages of my YA book left and then there will be one heck of a choice coming on..I could spend ages just looking….

    1. You mean it in a positive way, if I’m reading it well..
      Sometimes ages of looking are pretty much a drag. When one is anxious to start a new book, for example. But, looking can be very satisfactory. It’s like having all the books you browsed inside of your head, at the same time. Like some sort of galaxy..

        1. Bhagavad Gita is an interesting choice. Do tell me how it’s going. For some inexplicable reason I’ve always felt a sort of an aversion to it. And yes, I’m pretty ashamed of myself.

          1. I have put it on the back burner somewhat recently due to my book commitments but I will be back to it soon. The BG is interesting I haven’t read enough to form an opinion yet…no doubt I will be reviewing it soon though.

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